How to Use Encouraging Words with Your Children
Jack Canfield, author of Chicken Soup for the Soul, often cites a study completed by graduate students who followed a group of normal two-year olds around for a day. These typical kids from typical homes received 432 negative statements and only 32 positive statements daily. The teachers, aides and other children were constantly saying things like “don’t touch that”, “no, it is done this way”, and “no, you are not big enough.” The national Parent Teacher Organization (PTO) found the ratio of praise-to-criticism of school age children is 18 negative to each positive. It is automatic human nature to state things in the negative; we have to learn positive words to use in encouraging our children.
Encouragement is the process of focusing on your children’s assets and strengths in order to build their self-confidence and feelings of worth. I like to think of the word “encourage” as “en”courage, or giving the gift of courage. Inherent in that gift is the idea that it is okay to take risks and perhaps even to fail - the important thing is to go ahead and try it anyway. When we give a child encouragement, we are saying to keep trying, keep up with the progress, and to celebrate the journey, not just the victory.
We need to convey though words and gestures that we appreciate their efforts and improvement, not just their accomplishments. We need to make sure they understand that our love and acceptance is not dependent on their behavior.
Encouraging words and phrases that will assist your child to keep trying and increase his self-esteem and confidence.
1. I like the way you handled that
2. Wow, you really thought out the solution to that problem
3. I have faith in your ability
4. I appreciate what you did
5. You are really showing improvement
6. I know you will figure out a good way to do it next time
7. You don’t have to be perfect. Effort and improvement are important.
8. I trust you to be responsible
9. It must make you proud of yourself when you accomplish something like that
10. You are a valuable part of the team
11. It is okay to make a mistake, we all do. What do you think you learned from it?
12. How can we turn this into a positive?
13. I’m proud of you for trying
14. I’ll bet by next year you will be able to handle it, you just need to grow a little
15. I know you are disappointed that you didn’t win, but you’ll do better next time.
I have confidence in you. Just as you have confidence in your child and his ability to problem solve and assume personal responsibility for choices.
You are invited to join us for Thursday morning teleclasses and radio shows at www.ArtichokePress.com You will be glad you did.
If you’re new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!
If you enjoyed this post, please consider to leave a comment or subscribe to the feed and get future articles delivered to your feed reader.
Comments
No comments yet.
Leave a comment