Notes to My Parent-From Your Child
What does your child really need from you besides food, shelter and love? Are you struggling with your confidence as a parent? Do you sometimes feel like you are not doing enough to help your child become a responsible member of society?
Do you wish your child could put into words what he or she really needs each day in order to feel safe, secure and ready to learn?
Well, I know how you feel. I have felt frustrated and discouraged as a mom and grandmother of young children. As a parent educator and family coach, I have found that parents all over the world wish they knew what the most important things to do each day are.
I made a small list for busy parents from information I have learned from experience, observation and study. If your toddler or young child could communicate what he needs to you, these are a few of the things he or she would share.
1. I need your encouragement and your praise to grow. Please go easy on the criticism. Remember, you can criticize the things I do without criticizing me. There is a big difference between the “deed” and the “doer.” It is the misbehavior that causes you to have a headache, not me as a person.
2. Allow me to make as many choices in life as I can. Give me the freedom to make decisions concerning myself. If you tell me what to do, wear, say and think, how will I ever become an independent individual and contribute to society. That doesn’t mean I am in charge of the house, but I can choose between the red shirt and the blue one.
3. Please don’t do things over for me. Somehow that makes me feel that my efforts didn’t quite measure up to your expectations. I know it’s hard, but please don’t try to compare me with my brother or my sister.
4. Model good relationships and self-respect for me. I want you to teach me how to be a friend, worker, spouse and parent. Teach me ways to resolve conflict and solve problems.
I imitate what you do by what I see more than what I hear you say. Don’t let me model my life after what I am learning on TV.
5. Don’t give me everything I ask for. Say no and stick to your guns. Remember you are the parent and teacher and you need to teach me to delay gratification.
If there is something I really, really want then help me to work and save for it. Help me learn the value of money and time.
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